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Joke of the Day

"This chic on Facebook said she ran 17 miles yesterday. Where I live the police would have gave up after like, IDK, 6 miles maybe."

"Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat."

"What's the difference between a scout boy and a jew? The scout boy comes home from camp."

"A guy walks into an electronic pub He has to buy a new ebook reader now"

"Some bitch just called me a crack whore... Stupid dogs, ass is the only way to go ;)"

"I call bullshit on vampires that look all sexy and shit when they can't even see their reflection"

"*smudges lipstick* *smears eyeliner* *gets mascara on earlobe* *never tries make-up sex again*"

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""

"Two Germans walk into a bar... I forget the punchline, but I know it was heilarious."

"Fool me once, shame on me. Fool your Japanese father, shame on your whole family."