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Joke of the Day

"Got a text from my girlfriend, thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative.' I wonder what ternative' means?"

"Low self esteem group meeting Please use the back door"

"I exclusively use internet explorer to download Google chrome."

"I can't believe I used to talk to people."

"Is elliott a lawn mower? He is really gay"

"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO."

"What's the difference between and egg and a wank? You can beat a an egg but you can't beat a wank."

"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."

"Get out of any speeding ticket by assuring the officer that you're already miserable and adequately beaten down by life."

"A cop stops a drunk man and asks: How high are you? The man replies: This is wrong english, you should say 'Hi, How are You?'"