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Joke of the Day

"Ever have one of those days where you drink so much coffee that you can't hold the scalpel straight? LOL! It's like a Gallagher show!"

"Do you know why Jesus doesn't play hockey? Because he always get nailed into the boards."

"DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it"

"Guys, I think I found the Cure to Aids! It requires having a Magic Johnson."

"me: it's too hot *opens window* *in comes 305430 flies, 43866 spiders, 91193 moths, a serial killer, a paedophile and a burglar* (HELP)"

"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."

"What do you call the western half of Kenya? Kenya West"

"Twitter: The addiction that talks back."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar Then a table, then a chair"

"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"