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Joke of the Day

"How do her parents punish Helen Keller? By leaving the plunger in the toilet."

"Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter? Chapped lips"

"What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby? I don't use sugar in my signature cookies."

"I tried to cross a redneck with a golden retriever... All I got was a dirty look from the golden retriever."

"How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? Attractive."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!"

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""

"Why did the letter D kill all the Jews He's a not C."

"I got banned from my chiropractors office. Apparently its not ""appropriate"" to ask for a happy ending."

"Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes."