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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes."

"Him: I'm heading to the gym Me: I'm heading to the fridge"

"Here's a FedEx joke. Actually, you'll get it tomorrow."

"They should make it slightly less easy to ruin everything."

"Crueless joke Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."

"A Dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the ""energizing"" claims. You're soap."

"I tried mugging an old aged pensioner yesterday. I said, ""Give me all your money now, bitch, or you're geography."" ""Don't you mean history?"" she replied. I said, ""Don't try to change the subject."""

"JONATHAN EDWARDS: God abhors a sinner and holds him over the flames of hell like some loathsome insect LOATHSOME INSECT: Wow I'm right here"