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Joke of the Day

"How does a black woman know that she's pregnant? The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)"

"The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

"i have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow to go to the airport i've honestly never felt more attacked and victimized than i do now"

"What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World? Kicked out."

"Q: What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn? A: Get off."

"After 30 years I still can't figure out how to pronounce ""I'm a lesbian"" so it doesn't sound like ""keep bothering me."""

"How does Seth Macfarlane wishes you Eid Mubarrak? Keep it in church, guys."

"I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them."

"someone just asked ""how do u delete yo life"" U CHEW ON A GRENADE WIT THE PIN OUT"

"Wife must be planning to paint the house. I found plastic & tape under our bed. Not sure what the shovel & pistol are for."