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Joke of the Day

"[OC] What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January? Genu[w]ine."

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"We got two inches of snow last night and now I can't find my Smart Car."
"Have you ever seen Ted Cruz and the Zodiac Killer in the same room? Me neither."
"Perplexed student Told him he looked about as confused as a blind lesbian in a tuna cannery."
"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here"
"The Hotness Scale I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven."
"My wife's favourite drink is wine. Which coincidentally, is also her favourite hobby."
"What doesn't belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Answer: blowjob You can beat your meat, eggs and wife but you cant beat a blowjob!"
"What is the difference between a thief and a pervert? A thief snatches watches."
"How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? ""Please get out of the swimming pool"""