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Joke of the Day
"My wife's favourite drink is wine. Which coincidentally, is also her favourite hobby."
Next Joke
"My wife's a ventriloquist, which means she has the ability to complain about having to give me a blowjob whilst actually giving me a blowjob."
"a strain of weed that permanently erases your memories and reduces your brainwaves to the carefree infantile state of a newborn baby"
"I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single."
"What does a hairstylist call their resume? A tresume."
"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."
"What did the engineer say to the flood? Dam!"
"Q: How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting too fat? A: She fits into your wife's clothes."
"The hardest part about being a kick ass dude is wiping the poo from your kick ass boot after a hard day of work."
"Star Wars VII: the force awakens Star Wars VIII: the force goes out to play Star Wars IX: goodnight force"