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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who OD'ed on homeopathic medicine? He had forgotten to take them."

"How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help."

"What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry? Jesus in a submarine."

"What is the difference between Elon musk and Tony Stark? Stark industries has actually turned a profit"

"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"

"Googled woodworking. Broke my coffee table down and built a birdhouse. Desk is now a birdhouse too. Pretty much everything's a birdhouse now"

"Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own."

"If Jack helps you off a horse... Would you help jack off a horse?"

"Why was the burrito embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing."

"So my friend told me that he has been constipated for the past three weeks... I'm pretty sure he's full of shit."