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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An Investigator"

"You never can trust atoms... Because they make up everything!"

"The good thing about women who like F1 is that they like men who finish fast"

"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."

"Went to a skipping competition I didn't really want to, but I got roped in"

"Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

"What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches? Salvador Deli."

"A vegan in the woods. If a vegan is alone in the woods with nobody to tell, are they still a vegan?"

"Today I called the rape help line... But apparently it's just meant for the victims."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. I now have $999,999.75"