147297

Joke of the Day

"My wife gives incredible head aches..."

"Symphony of puns i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music... Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble!"

"*gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*"

"I dont mean to brag, ladies, but I can turn on most appliances with one finger"

"My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks..."

"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."

"stadium announcer: ""STADIUM!"""

"Why do men like to be on bottom during sex? Cause they only know how to fuck up."

"Two condoms walk by a gay bar... One says to the other, ""Wanna go inside and get shitfaced?"""

"What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep track of the date and important events."