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Joke of the Day

"My wife gives incredible head aches..."

"What you call a penis that doesn't satisfy a woman? Yours"

"How did the girlfriend satisfy her secretly gay boyfriend? I don't know, I guess she really had him pegged."

"You know you're a total loser when your controversial political post gets zero likes or comments on Facebook."

"What do we want? ""A CURE FOR TOURETTES!!!"" When do we want it? ""FUCK!!"""

"I'm just waiting for a bold, courageous restaurant that IS responsible for lost or stolen items."

"Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms."

"Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: About fifty pounds."

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He sat down and worked it out with a pencil."

"[Doctor office] -How are you feeling? -Not good. -Any side effects from the medication? *cries tears of fire* -Now that you mention it..."