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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, set a cheese trap. If you catch it, it's a mouse. Why are you in love with a mouse?"

"The best thing about fucking 26 year olds is... there's 26 of them."

"Every time I listen to oldies I'm like, ""These people didn't even have cellphones. What the fuck do they know about love?"""

"*chases cat around the house with a lint roller"

"Batman- See, kids? Even one extremely wealthy white male can make a difference."

"Every time I have a big bowel movement I say thank you to my digestive system. For putting up with my shit."

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"Comment your best recent THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID Jokes of recent life situations"

"Michael J Fox and Taylor Swift dated, but broke up Don't worry, they're both going to shake, shake it off."

"Sorry I'm late, I was staring at a picture of the Ninja Turtles for an hour trying to figure out why they always wear belts with no pants."