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Joke of the Day

"It's raining, It's pouring... I really should be snoring. I cleared my head with sudafed I won't get to sleep until morning. (I know, I know, it's not really a joke because it's true)"

Next Joke
 
"I asked a fortune teller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased her down and beat her to death."
"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry her"
"Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Change?"
"You open a massage studio called Human Traffic Fuck Palace and some people will just assume the worst."
"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."
"My girlfriend came home yesterday.... She told me to take off her shirt. I obeyed. Then she told me to take off her skirt, so I said ""OK"". Then she told me to never wear her clothes again"
"How do you know the toothbrush was made in France? Anywhere else it would've been the ""teethbrush"""
"Why did the basement want to be a high rise? It was a motivated cellar. :|"
"smoking I use to smoke, I'll probably never say that I quit but I do stop for intermittent periods. I, like most people, call this lapse in my habit a ""relationship""."