138845

Joke of the Day

"Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues."

"I'm good now. I pretended the vegetables I was chopping were actually people. It helped."

"what is a ghosts favorite lunch meat? Boo-loney :D"

"What's Batman's favorite food? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na"

"[annoyed burglar waking me] you still have a VCR?"

"Rob Ford's family have been told they won't inherit any money from his bank accounts But his credit cards will re-sell for several thousand Canadian dollars."

"The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies. So to answer your question: Yes, selfies CAN get worse."

"Ah you love me that's great. Now I'll do a bunch of terrible shit because I need to be sure you love me no matter what"

"""I"" before ""E"" but only at participating locations"

"I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me."