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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together? Batman."

"I have an odd friend who gets off to the dictionary. It's weird but he's come to terms with it."

"When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking ""they're just keeping me to themselves"""

"How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?"

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the empire state building? Nope, but it sure can jump higher than the twin towers."

"I shot my first turkey today... ..It sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section"

"A golfer bought a six pack of beer but he had to take it back... because there was a hole-in-one"

"Which movie is on every man's bucket list? Die Hard"

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with a disobedient dog? A cock that doesn't come."