147165

Joke of the Day

"Beards are a privilege, not a right"

"A one-liner a came up with. I recently bought a superconducting electric heater... I was not impressed!"

"Have you heard about the two gay ghosts? They gave each other the willies."

"Mobster: [tying a cinder block to my ankles] ""You're gonna be sleeping with the fishes..."" Me: ""Umm, it's 'fish'."" M: ""This. This is why."""

"What's a redditor's favorite form of math? substitution"

"Yo'moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck"

"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist."

"What do you call midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"[in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you"

"DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is."