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Joke of the Day

"My handwriting has slowly morphed from cheerleader to serial killer to elephant with a paint brush."

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"There are two secrets in life The first is ""Never tell anyone everything you know"""
"Morning after The morning after pill...did you know it's called the ""anti-baby pill"" in Germany? And in Sweden it's called the ""regret pill"". However in Chicago it's called the ""crime fighter"" pill."
"What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons? One porks women the other un-porks them."
"- What do we want? - A cure for ADD! - When do we want it? - Ducks. I liked a movie. I'm hungry."
"wanna hear a pizza joke? ....nevermind its too cheesy"
"Knock knock knock knock knock. Who's there? Michael J Fox"
"Telemarketer: Good afternoon, Sir. Me: Do you walk with a limp? Telemarketer: No. Me: Want to? Telemarketer: Thank you for your time."
"Italy changes law to make all markets give unsold food to super needy keep it going"
"""you are the only one who understands me"" i whisper to a piece of pizza."