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Joke of the Day

"My Girlfriend told me she had an STD Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship now."

"An engineer major asks... ""How can we build this?"" A business major asks, ""How can we finance this?"" A liberal arts major asks, ""Do you want fries with that?"""

"Why did the sperm cross the road?... Because I put on the wrong pair of socks today."

"I taught my son how to spell beer so he'd stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."

"I don't even like sports but I'm excited for next year's superbowl... Because it will be Superbowl L"

"Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures? In a photo albumen..."

"Why did the Gluteus Maximus feel bullied? He was the butt of many jokes."

"No I don't watch Mad Men. If I wanted to pretend like it was fifty years ago I'd just go to a Tea Party Rally."

"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"

"I recently learned that the smell of fresh cut grass is the smell plants give if when under duress, and I like that smell... I guess this makes me a sado-*manicurist*"