147113

Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid asks his father for 20 dollars.... The father says ""10 dollars! What do you need 5 dollars for?"""

"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat"

"I used to be a narcissist... ...but now look at me."

"Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared."

"Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist."

"I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let's not rush into things."

"This morning they were out of cinnamon buns at the coffee shop so I asked for an antonym bun. I hate when people roll their eyes."

"With Parkinsons... Every weight is shake weight!"

"Q: What do you say when a dog runs away? A: Dog-gone!"