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Joke of the Day

"[Spelling bee, to clench victory] ""O,P... (hesitates) A,W,E,S,O,M,E."" Judges? (Opossum judges whispering for a bit) Correct."

"Beer is like sex. When it's good it's good...when it's bad it's still pretty good."

"What's a stoners favorite word? Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)"

"What type of tree doesn't remove active torrents? A *Cedar* tree."

"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point."

"How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"

"If I can't buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop."

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can't sit down!"

"*climbs into windowless van* *puts on ""Free Hugs"" t-shirt* *heads out to make new friends* *fails* *waits for lawyer in windowless room*"

"Bono and the Edge walk into a bar Barman says ""not you two again"""