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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water? You can afford four fjord forders' fords."

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"Why did they skip Windows 9? Because 7 8 9!"
"I carry a backpack full of receipts and gum wrappers and go through it while I'm at a cashier until someone who's frustrated pays for me."
"The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial."
"Creep yelling from window: ""HEY SEXY WHERE YO MAN?"" Me yelling back: ""HE DEAD"" Him: ""WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?"" Me: ""HE YELLED AT ME"""
"what do you call somebody who hates shoes from Asia? A lacist."
"Love is that really warm feeling that starts from the tips of your fingers and goes towards the bottom of your hand. Oh no wait that's glove"
"What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters? You'll never de-fetus."
"What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140? Convert to kilograms."
"What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter? Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves."