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Joke of the Day

"(x-post from /r/lotr) How many Nazgul does it take to kill a hobbit? Ten."

"Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army."

"DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON ""Can we put Nutella on our salmon and call it salmonella?"" This has been DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON"

"So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard."

"So it's legal to sleep on a pillow but illegal to hold it over someone's face until they die? Ugh, government"

"Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause? because he only came once a year"

"What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity? Damn, son. It's about time!"

"My wife is an angel A man tells his friend, ""My wife is an angel."" His friend replies, ""Lucky you. Mine's still alive."""

"What do you call a male prostitute who can't stop laughing? A giggle-o"

"I did my foreign country report on Ethiopia. It was really easy, I didn't even have to bring the class food."