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Joke of the Day
"A customer just told me that it takes a 14 mile run to work off 1 Oreo. Don't worry she's dead now"
Next Joke
"just got my deaf friend drunk and he's slurring fingers so bad right now"
"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."
"I haven't had anything to eat all year. It's 12:01 January 1st where I am"
"A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today... ...while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts."
"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating."
"HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage."
"My toddler found a bottle of Axe body spray I got as a free sample, and now she's wearing a Tapout T-shirt and calling everyone ""bro."""
"What did the Hand say to the Penis when they first met.... Nice to beat you!"
"They say that time heals all wounds... But what if you get hit in the head with a clock?"