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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash? A rootabaga."

"The sooner one of you ladies takes one for the team' and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!"

"Political correctness gone mad. I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son. Apparently it's my ""daughter."""

"What's the point of having nice tits if you're going to cover them up? Stop being so fucking greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do."

"My daughter just asked me about UpBro! Lol Can you believe it?"

"*suddenly pulls away from kissing* why aren't there any female Transformers?!?"

"I am sooo glad I was young, wild & crazy before there were cell phones & evidence."

"I love the smell of my f5 key... It is very refreshing"

"A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him."

"Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects ... and no positive either."