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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic philosopher with insomnia? He was up all night wondering if there really is a dog. I know it's a dad joke, because it was my dad's favorite joke."

Next Joke
 
"At a job interview ""What are your strengths?"" ""I'm an optimist and a positive thinker"" ""Can you give me an example?"" ""Yes, when do I start?"""
"With women it's not about how much money you make, what you drive or where you live at... LOL Who am I kidding, even the homeless women go after the homeless guys with the most stuff.."
"What do you call nondeterministically scrambled Crunk? White and black noise."
"To think, millions of children go to bed every night without knowing what their Sleep Number is."
"They're giving away Marshawn Lynch jerseys at my local sports shop. But I think I'll pass"
"i think a group of white people should be called a brunch."
"For a perfectly shaved forearm reach for the last Pringle in the can."
"dentist was flossing my teeth & said ""they're very tight"" & I said ""yeah they're homies"" & he laughed so loud that it made me uncomfortable"
"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"