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Joke of the Day

"Why are my pubes curly? Because if they were straight, they'd be poking you in the eyes."

"Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane. Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""why the long face?"""

"Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?"

"My article on chickens was very well received. It might win the pullet-ser prize."

"This blonde is so stupid she called me to get my telephone number!"

"What does a Vulcan lawnmower need to function? A spock plug."

"While I'm shopping at Costco my kids wait by the exit and try to get adopted by a wealthy family."

"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."

"Things you won't catch me saying: What a great fucking meeting!"