146315

Joke of the Day

"Signs a Woman Likes You: 1. Eye contact 2. Twirls her hair 3. Laughs at your jokes 4. Follows you 5. Keys your car 6. Kills you"

"I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book it cost me a fortune in postage stamps"

"I find frying pans really hot. I guess you could say I'm pansexual."

"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to."

"What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ? A cricket ball !"

"I was watching a film with my little lad earlier.. He said, ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". I said ""Judging on the size of that horses cock, then yes son, I'm afraid so""."

"What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist. They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure."

"Why dont i watch porn anymore? Because they all suck ass."

"Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange."

"HI, I'M STEVE'S CAPS LOCK KEY, AND I'D LIKE TO MEET OTHER CAPS LOCKS KEYS. I'M INTERESTED IN BOATING AND HIKING."