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Joke of the Day

"If you're going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10, don't be open."

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! *drops mic*"

"How would you describe sex with a midget covered in sugar? Short and sweet"

"Well my father always told me, ""when life gives you lemons, chances are you're in the fruit aisle and shouldn't overthink the situation Edit: words"

"There's no ""shame"" in ""glitter"", but there's shame and glitter on me."

"I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style."

"What do the Mafia and vaginas have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"What do you call a gust of wind full of sand? A rough draft"

"There was two muffins. They were put in the oven One muffin says to the other muffin, ""wow its hot in here!"" The other muffin said ""WHOAH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."