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Joke of the Day

"""longest word"" What is the longest word in the English language? . SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""

"What has no eyes and four legs? No idea."

"Calm down check out guy, you don't have to inspect my $20 so hard, If I was talented enough to make my own, I wouldn't be in Quickie Mart.."

"If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying."

"What do you call an Irish woman who stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"

"-I got you a birthday present... ...but I can't give it to you until tomorrow. -What is it? -It rhymes with 'Something to get drunk with'."

"On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now."

"No matter how much you loved them if a family member or pet comes back from the dead don't dilly dally kill them immediately"

"What do you call a person who worships Doritos? A Chipmonk."

"What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a curry? A bronto-sore-ass"