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Joke of the Day
"I'd let Jesus take the wheel but... I don't know how to speak spanish."
Next Joke
"If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa ""I'm a Slave 4 U"" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real."
"Yo son, do you like nachos? ""Hell yeah!"" *son goes in for high 5* That's good, 'cause I'm nacho real dad *rejects high 5* You're adopted lol"
"Giving people the finger while driving just isn't effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed."
"A ham sandwich walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""Do you serve food here?"" The bartender replies, ""No."" So the ham sandwich walks out."
"Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw."
"Two eggs and a piece of bacon walk into a bar The bartender asks them to leave. They all ask why. Bartender says, ""We don't serve breakfast here."""
"Home Alone 6: Homeland Security - Everyone in Washington D.C. has gone on vacation and left Kevin in charge!"
"How many polacks does it take to change a light bulb? Just one dumbass."
"Describe yourself in 3 words I am a rebel"