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Joke of the Day
"[talking with counselor] I don't ""know"" what ""she"" means that I ""use"" excessive air quotes"
Next Joke
"A dad asks his son, ""What has four legs but isn't alive?"" The son says,""Nice try dad, a chair!"" ""Not this time son, our dog is dead"""
"Modern day camping is an uncharged phone."
"I told my psychiatrist that I have been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist."
"A really effective car insurance ad would just show pics of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes and say: Because these girls have licenses."
"I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad."
"Guys my calendar is really sick.. I think its days are numbered."
"What can fly but can't be given? A fuck."
"I'm not only a workaholic, I drink at home too."
"what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef"