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Joke of the Day

"A really effective car insurance ad would just show pics of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes and say: Because these girls have licenses."

"Girl: Did you like that cake Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste."

"Step 1 Change your Wi-Fi password to ""blowmefirst."" Step 2 Wait for someone to ask you for it."

"Husband: are you cooking something? Me: of course not Husband: the oven timer just went off Me: oh yeah, take the wine out of the freezer"

"I told my dentist to make my teeth whiter.. so he named them Logan and moved them to a gated community."

"Many burn victims are not very attractive, But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past."

"I would shave my beard... but it's kind of grown on me."

"[Horrible Joke] Why did the pretzel maker break his PC? He was too salty. (Overwatch competitive)"

"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"

"What's the most dangerous animal in the world? A Bluebird with a Tommy Gun."