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Joke of the Day

"Me to Dr: I have no energy lately. Dr: you need to exercise more Me:... Dr:... Me: Let's start this again."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool."

"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."

"Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three Blind Mice!"

"When the hostess at the restaurant says ""table for two?"", I always like to look surprised and whisper ""you can see her too?""."

"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"

"An egg voted to leave the omelet.. and then.. it.. did.. yeah, sorry its just too scrambled. there's no way to get a good yolk out of this mess.."

"My girlfriend complained we don't spend enough time together. So she came up with a perfect solution... ... and broke up with me."

"Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs? Because it's full of bad yolks."

"Dear women who just gave birth, Stop naming your child 'Khalessi'. Sincerely, The rest of the human race"