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Joke of the Day

"[first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in ""It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"""

"A guy came to me with a bag in his hand. He said ""If you can guess how many donuts are in this bag... I'll give you both of them."""

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!"

"Tequila is just the grown up version of choose your own adventure books."

"Metapod really loves eating Margarine on his pokefood. Since its butterfree."

"What is the one food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake."

"[warning racist] wanna hear a dark joke? africas population"

"Q:What is the population of Antarctica A: All white."

"I tried to add 1 + 1 But it was two complicated for me."

"""My eyes are down there!"" - Large-breasted blind woman pointing to her service dog."