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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a costume party wearing only pants. The host asks what he is. The man says premature ejaculation... Because I came in my pants."

"How is Donald Trump going to get rid of the Mexicans if elected? Pesticide"

"I called the rape support hotline last night. Apparently it is only for victims."

"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."

"What did a homosexual reindeer say to Santa Claus? Sleigh, daddy."

"I always thought Hamlet was the story of a small pig."

"What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common? both can be solved with a coat hanger"

"Mechanic: the front shocks are shot. Did you hit a pothole? Me: yes but I winced, patted the dash & said I was sorry so it can't be that."

"Hitler killed... six million Jews..."

"My son can go from ""omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!"" To ""you're the best mom ever"" in a matter of $100"