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Joke of the Day

"Men are like animals: messy insensitive and potentially violent but they make great pets."

"What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !"

"procrastinator's club .... ... meets tomorrow"

"Do your socks have holes in them? No? Then how did you get them on?"

"Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon."

"What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas? No pressure"

"My friend said he was really down because of his car troubles... I told him i didn't wan't to hear his saab story."

"How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space? It's a little meteor."

"*puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you."

"How do you make a cat woof? soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!"