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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend wants me to talk dirty during sex, but I feel weird swearing at a 12 year old."

"Why are cars slower than planes Because they're tired. PS. First post here.."

"Knock knock! (A joke from my 5 year old sister) Knock knock! Who's there? Boo Boo who? Don't cry it's only a joke! ...I got rekt"

"Have you read the book about anti-gravity? Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down."

"Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran Because it would kill the camel"

"What does 36+16 equal to? A prison sentence."

"I once dated someone with really smelly feet, the smell used to bring tears to my eyes... It was like someone was chopping bunions."

"There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it."

"A horse walks into a shrink's office. The shrink says ""Why the long penis? Er. Um. Face. Dammit!!"""

"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""