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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!"

"Why did Adolf Hitler commit suicide? He saw the gas bill."

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."

"What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building? So far, so good."

"Help! I need someone. Help! Not just anyone. I have this internal monologue of music that won't stop playing."

"Some think the economy is slowly recovering. Others think it's on the verge of collapse. I think about boobs mostly."

"Maybe Adele is singing about her cats. You don't know."

"My girlfriend says I treat her like an object. I don't know why it keeps saying that."

"If you see a man running down the street tonight, blowing a whistle & wearing a life guard shirt...don't worry, I'm just chasing my dream."

"I have a killer penis. Yeah, that's right. It's a mood killer. *sobs*"