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Joke of the Day

"When a store plays pop music half the time and classic rock the other half, you know there's two people working there that hate each other."

"I think my dog is an alcoholic. He can't hold his licker."

"Black Friday is when Kim Kardashian shops for a new husband."

"if theres 'national public radio'? (npr) is there also 'private public schools'?"

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."

"I have no beef with vegetarians."

"Guy walks into a bar... A guy walks into a bar and drunkenly yells at the bartender, ""I fucked your mother!!"". The bartender says, ""Dad, go home""."

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, Awesome, now we're both barking"

"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? He couldn't find the droid he was looking for."

"Poor Sally (2 parter) Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... **quickly followed by** Knock Knock *Who's there?* Not Sally."