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Joke of the Day
"""I feel so average"" Tom said meanly"
Next Joke
"Why did the Bear dissolve in water? He was polar"
"Twitter Taking the everyday boring shit and putting a much better funny twist on it."
"How do people get their drivers to murder someone? Mine sulks if I ask him to fetch groceries."
"A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, ""Do you know what tomorrow is?"" and watch the panic set in."
"Just been watching the Olympic ladies beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury. But I should be okay by Monday."
"Wanna hear a joke?? Womens rights!! Even better? They believe it!!"
"""anything new with you?"" not really ""any cool projects at work? nope ""meeting with friends?"" no ""seeing anybody?"" why are you doing this?"
"What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully? Miracle whip."
"What goes clip-clop clip-clop bang!? An Amish drive-by shooting."