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Joke of the Day

"Hey, guy who sniffs wine then talks about its oakiness or whatever, could you stop being a serial killer"

"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom."

"Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange? They thought she might have been slipped a woofie."

"No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married."

"Two blondes are standing in opposite sides of the river. One yells: - HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SHORE?! The other answers: - YOU ARE IN THE OTHER SHORE!"

"What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4."

"What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A melon collie."

"If you're wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don't google 'old man bond age'"

"What do 9 out of 10 people always agree on? Gang rape What do those 9 disagree about? The order"

"He knows when you are sleeping He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Sounds like Santa's had Facebook way before us."