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Joke of the Day
"Im not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB"
Next Joke
"If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you."
"I'm working on my second $million I finally gave up on the first."
"Why was the dictionary on the top shelf more expensive than the one on the bottom... Because it was a higher definition"
"Bounty Towels have declined making a Donald Trump Towel The company explained that it was impossible to make the towel because Donald Trump was already too self-absorbed."
"What's a Muslims favourite animal? Its Lamb"
"Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it ""theiyr're."""
"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."
"It's hard to sleep with all the girls knocking on my door at night. I eventually had to let them out."
"My underwear is spoiled."