145164

Joke of the Day

"Im not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB"

"Gays and ISIS ... are fucking assholes."

"I'm a racist person and my mouth says racist things but my penis is a humanitarian. - Dave Chapelle."

"What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a"

"Boy: Why is the food so cold and bland? Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it."

"Try and tell me about your cleanse and I will whip out my pocket bacon and eat it right in front of you."

"If you're out of wallpaper, you can always resort to using a few rolls of duct tape for that nice silver look."

"My boyfriend says I'm kind of selfish, but that's not true. I often think of other people. When I'm having sex with him."

"I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said ""WHERE ?"""

"What do you call some who is afraid of Santa? Clausetrophobic. I'm here all week."