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Joke of the Day

"A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery. He was found praying with friars."

"Two condoms walk by a gay bar... One says to the other, ""Wanna go inside and get shitfaced?"""

"An ex girlfriend of mine had a Cockatoo, that fucking thing would never shut up ... but her bird was cool."

"3 guys walked into a bar to watch football... none of them knew what was going on."

"Bieber enacts law in Arizona that requires Iron Man to clean up oil spill using an iPad. #help #allmynewscomesfromtwitter"

"I read the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible."

"Oh hey, sorry I accidentally rolled out of your bed, across your floor, down the stairs, out the door, into my car and back in my own bed."

"I was in a bad place when my girlfriend broke up with me. A brothel."

"[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*"

"I never wanna ""touch base"" with anyone, I type it in emails to sound business-y."