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Joke of the Day
"How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."
"This says it all... It all."
"*breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?"
"What's black and white with red all over it? A nun with multiple stab wounds."
"There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose."
"I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard... Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking."
"I'm dreaming of getting rich like my father. Wow your dad must be a rich man. No, he too is dreaming of getting rich."
"J. J. Abrams wanted to make Luke's lightsaber red but it wasn't greenlighted."
"Me: I get most of my tweeting material from you son. 9: I'm glad I expire you. Me: See what I mean."