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Joke of the Day

"Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly."

"I wanted to set my password as madeline But apparently that's taken."

"Life is like a penis. It's soft and squishy until a girl comes along and makes it hard."

"What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? About 3 weeks."

"What Do You Call Two Trains Crossing A Road? A Bad City Planner!"

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out"

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian? A car thief who can't drive"

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth!"

"Waiter there is a spider drowning in my soup ! It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !"