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Joke of the Day

"Today in linear algebra we were ranking matrices I said the first was the best then the second and the third was the worst"

"What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that"

"You gotta go for personality, guys.... They'll ALL look like grandma someday,,"

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"

"What do you call a tooth in a glass? A one molar solution."

"Great big polar bear(she says what?) It broke the ice!"

"A giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls are on me!"""

"Is it just me... Or are circles pointless"

"Vegetarian: 'You know, a cow died so you could have that burger'. Me: 'Maybe he died because you keep eating all of his food'."