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Joke of the Day

"Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer' Well, it turns out writing ""my money is on cancer every time"" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail."

"Cross a mobster in the streets. Horse's head in the sheets."

"Being God means never having to say you're sorry. Or anything, really."

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: ""of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."""

"How many nymphomaniacs does it take to screw in a light-bulb? As many as will fit."

"I'm so hungry I could eat a hor *horse walks by snorting aggressively* ticulturalist *horticulturalist pops up trimming hedge aggressively*"

"What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand."

"A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve spirits here"""

"My editor told me I need to be more pithy, so I booked an appointment with a urologist."