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Joke of the Day

"An unidentified van has left a couple of disposable cameras at a local CVS. Police are still investigating. We'll be sure to keep you up to date on this story as it develops."

"What's the difference between soap and SOPA? You won't get fucked if you drop SOPA."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I always use this joke when going to Dr's, or any medical situation. It never fails to get a great laugh."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell."

"[AskReddit] I read that 4,156,257 people got married this year.... ....not to cause any problems, but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"Be careful of black ice. I rode my bike over some black ice once. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone."

"[OC] Did you hear about the two fruits who weren't allowed to get married? Turns out they cantaloupe."

"First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions 25 elephants and 10 hippos how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round."

"""It's beautiful today. Let's work outside."" *5 mins later* ""This was a terrible idea."" *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*"

"Another casualty of 2016... Ronda Rousey's MMA career"