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Joke of the Day

"2000 years ago somewhere in the Middle East 'I do not care who your father is. When I am out here fishing you do not walk on the water...'"

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"I was in a second hand shop. ""I was wondering if you had any condoms?"" I asked the owner. ""Don't be ridiculous,"" he remarked, ""Of course not."" I said, ""You're a brave guy, I like your style."""
"""the name's bond. james bond. james bond jovi."" coming this summer, YOU ONLY LIVE ON A PRAYER TWICE. rated PG for piece of garbage"
"Why do they call ""roach-clips"", ""roach-clips""??? because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes."
"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the other side...to get to the other siiiide"
"One guacamole is... equal to 6.0221415 x 10^23 guaca's."
"my wife says she's leaving me for being to arrogant. I said don't slam the door on your way back in."
"What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up."
"What do punctuation marks win in competitions? Apos-trophies"
"When women say ""It's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts"", we all know they are talking about a Man's wallets."