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Joke of the Day

"Every time a magician graduates from his school and throws his hat in the air at the convocation, PETA sues him for cruelty to rabbits."

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"Meatloaf would do anything for love Except for eating a proper diet and exercising regularly."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian says ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"Worst Possible Baby Name: Adolf Judas Kardashian."

"I left my house for a five-mile-run this morning. But when I got a block away, I had to turn around and go back because I forgot something. I forgot I can't run five miles."

"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and the other will see you in a while."

"""Daddy?"" ""Yes?"" ""What are you doing?"" ""Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."""

"My Estonian girlfriend gave me a BJ the other day When she looked up at me and said ""12 months!"""